The older I get, the more annoyed I am with my fellow humans.

My first thought is that I need to meditate more. I need to slip in a thought before doing something stupid.

Alternately, I can use the annoyance. The annoyance is the way, the path.

This reminds me of Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle Is the Way.

Great book, and a great title based on a quote from Marcus Aurelius:

“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

This is the idea from Stoicism that obstacles are not barriers, but opportunities for growth, resilience, and progress.

Some examples I and struggling with:

  • The guy at the gym who smells like he has never showered, that can be sensed from across the room, does not ruin the workout, he is part of the workout.
  • The woman who clears her throat loudly and uncovered every 10 seconds, whose sound cuts through my headphones, does not ruin the workout, she is part of the workout.
  • The grandma who yells to her friends in the signed quiet area and rebuffs all shushing does not ruin the sauna session, she is part of the sauna session.

These annoyances are an opportunity to improve the activity, to make it harder.

They are integrated, part thereof, another element that requires practice, like the heavy weight and the high temperature.

The stoics might say that they are an opportunity to practice a virtue like temperance, wisdom, courage, etc.

Another view on this that I give the kids is:

“It’s easier to change yourself than the whole world.”

Is it though? Making a passive aggressive comment seems pretty easy to do. We don’t have to change the whole world, just this little part and just right now. At least this is what the lazy monkey whispers. He’s wrong.

The annoyance, and therefore the solution is universalized. All solution to the problem is required for all problems of the class.

Easy to say. Easy to intellectualize. On the very edge of impossibility to action.

Change the place or time of the workout. Or even better, change what annoys you.

We circle back to my first thought.

From Epictetus:

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

Every annoyance is a chance to strengthen your resilience.

The response is emotional. Therefore I need to slip in some thinking after the stimulus and before the response.

“chill winston”

The stoics are suggesting that we go beyond mere “letting it go” and into “get stronger”.

From resilience to antifragility.

From tolerating to thriving.

Each annoyance is a rep. You become cognitively crossfit.

The risk is that it isn’t. That it’s one more grain of sand on the sand pile, eventually leading to the collapse.

Remember, we workout in a public setting because we want human contact. Good and bad.