I did the thing I tell everyone not to do.

Human, I guess.

Do as I say, not as I do.

Advice is easier to give, than to take.

During the pandemic I started reading books on fiction writing. I’ve since read 100+ books on the topic.

I also started listening to podcasts on the topic, since consuming many thousands of hours of discussion.

Have I written novels and short stories?

Nope.

Well nominally no, there were a few attempts.

In machine learning/data science/deep learning, I tell people:

“Stop reading tutorials and watching videos and start doing”.

Do projects, write code, implement algorithms, make predictions, etc. Do stuff.

I didn’t do this with writing fiction. I just kept consuming. And still continue to do so.

It’s not learning because there’s no change in behavior.

I’m learning nothing. It’s pure entertainment or infotainment.

Is this “The Toolbox Fallacy”?

I can’t do X until I have Y. Once I have the (gym membership, tablet, camera, laptop, time), then I’ll be able to (workout, paint more, work on my photography, write, be happy.) That is the Toolbox Fallacy, and it has been one of the most persistent, tick-like, ever-present, lies to myself I’ve ever distinguished, infesting a wide variety of aspirations. Health. Love. Creativity. And the Toolbox Fallacy often hides in plain sight because, as with any good self-deception, it only works because there are certain circumstances when it’s actually true. It wouldn’t be so damn sticky if it were never valid.

– The Toolbox Fallacy, Ian Martin

And a summary from our gp4o bro:

The Toolbox Fallacy is a cognitive distortion where a person believes they need more tools, resources, or preparation before they can start pursuing a goal, even when they are already capable of beginning.

Key Features of the Toolbox Fallacy:

  • Overemphasis on Equipment or Preparation – A person convinces themselves that they can’t start until they acquire a specific tool, skill, or condition.
  • Excuses for Inaction – It serves as a psychological safety net that justifies procrastination.
  • Perceived Readiness vs. Actual Readiness – The belief that “one day” they will have everything they need to start, even though they may already have enough.

Maybe.

Also, is this a real fallacy?

Anyway, for me it was not: I need to read one more book on fiction writing to finally “get it”.

It was was more like: I have no idea how to do this thing, but reading about doing the thing is way easier, so do that.

I was thinking it was fear, but I don’t think so.

I put out crappy work all the time and don’t feel afraid. I’ve even put up short stories on reddit and shared them with friends and there was no fear.

Maybe a specific fear, a fear of failure. Of trying and not being able to do it. Which is mad, because doing it badly is still doing it, there is no failure.

And I already get this deep in my bones.

Here’s what it probably is all about: I just don’t want it badly enough.

Building fictional worlds and telling believable stories in there.

Other things are just more interesting, for now.

Maybe. Distrust all self-reflection.

Nat Eliason and Nathan Baugh’s new podcast “Between Drafts” is stirring things up again, especially the latest ep on Nat describing how he rewrote his book in a month and the stuff on book structure (e.g. Dan Wells’ 7 point plot structure).

I can write fast. I love structure. …maybe i could do stuff like that…?